In France, a woman dies every four days at the hands of her partner. One in ten French women are victims of domestic violence. The findings are alarming, and the reality of these cases is very difficult. You may be affected yourself; a friend, a sister, a coworker, a neighbor—these acts of violence touch all women (and sometimes men), regardless of their age or social status. But what can be done in such situations? Leaving a violent partner is often difficult. The fear, emotions, children, financial dependence, and the misunderstanding and scrutiny from others make this step seem insurmountable for many victims. However, it is possible. Laws, structures, and support can help break this cycle. Violence, even within the private sphere, are violations of human rights, and are unacceptable. Here are some instructions and useful advice for getting out.
What is domestic violence?
It manifests in various forms: verbal, psychological, physical, economic. It exists whenever one is under the influence of another. Insults, slurs, devaluation, threats, control of outings and relationships, emotional blackmail, control of financial resources, forced sexual relations are all part of domestic violence just as much as physical blows (grabbing, slapping, etc.)
What does the law say?
– Article 222-13-6 of the Penal Code of 1994 recognizes a specific offense of violence when it is committed by a spouse or cohabitant. Moreover, the Penal Code provides a series of offenses of violence which, depending on their severity, constitute a crime or misdemeanor. These offenses are subject to enhanced penalties when committed by a spouse or cohabitant.
– Article 22 of Law 2004-439 of May 26, 2004, on divorce, applicable from January 1, 2005, now protects the spouse who is a victim of domestic violence, particularly by allowing the removal of the violent spouse from the marital home in case of flagrante delicto.
What you need to know:
– Not every step necessarily leads to a disaster: a departure may not be definitive or a mutual agreement can prevent overburdening the man in case of proceedings.
– It is proven that any action taken calms the violent man, at least temporarily.
– In specialized centers and associations, you will never be judged! You will be helped only when you are ready, but you can still go there to seek advice and have your situation evaluated.
– Each case is unique and has appropriate solutions.
– Financial problems are not as insurmountable as they may seem.
– Leaving a violent man is long and difficult but possible!
– The more urgent the action taken, the greater the risks and the reduced chances of getting out serenely.
– In proceedings, custody of the children is rarely taken away from the mother unless she truly fails to provide proper care.
– You are already living in fear, so what more do you stand to risk?
What to do:
– After experiencing violence, go as quickly as possible to your general practitioner, a forensic doctor, or the emergency room of a hospital to obtain a medical certificate documenting your injuries. You can support this with photographs and testimonials (your parents, friends, neighbors, or coworkers can testify in writing if they have witnessed scenes of violence, specifying the date and attaching a photocopy of their identity card).
– Go and file a complaint at the police station or gendarmerie. Don’t wait for the most violent attacks; state officials are increasingly trained to handle domestic violence cases better. Keep the receipts of the complaint filing and registration numbers of reports carefully.
