Big discussion at the local café during happy hour, where several of us were leaning against the counter. And the further we went, the more brilliant ideas – inevitably brilliant – were flying about on how our indebted State could finally make some real savings.
“Bartender, a round!” The first topic tackled: the deputies, unanimously judged to be too numerous. It’s true that 577 elected officials to represent over sixty million French people and to vote on thousands of often complex texts is a lot. Everyone agreed to reduce the number of these privileged ones who attend endless sessions and get scolded when they return to their constituencies. The fundamental question arose: “How many are needed?” A large majority of the participants set the number at a hundred, at the very most. Anything beyond that was deemed pure waste.
“Bartender, a round!”
And now it was the Senate’s turn: a second chamber, ultimately, what’s its purpose if not to annoy the deputies, forcing them into a second reading, bicameral committees, to decide on questions as trivial as liberties, taxation, justice, defense… Come on, let’s sell it: abolition of the Senate.
“Bartender, another round!”
Slightly tipsy, the learned assembly then considered the case of the regions, departments, cities, and villages. Concluding that, instead of bothering the electorate regularly to appoint people who would organize trash collection, school construction, and support for the elderly or dependent – such futile matters – it would be quite sufficient for just one person, a prefect for instance, to decide alone in their corner. This would ensure efficiency and speed, instead of getting lost in endless discussions, committees, and checks… Adopted.
“Bartender, bring us another!”
These repeated libations also led to interesting insights for the future: why continue funding agriculture that feeds us? Soft energies? Medical research, since “labs” handle it so well in a disinterested manner? Why strive to drive at 80 km/h when at 30 km/h there would be even fewer road deaths? Why rescue migrants drowning when we can’t promise them any future here? And also, why have a Justice system when it would suffice to build detention centers, whose mere sight would surely deter criminals.
“Bartender… driing!”
I was in the midst of these ramblings when the alarm clock rang, pulling me out of this nightmare, undoubtedly caused by an overindulgence in well-chilled rosé. Moral of the story: drink with moderation on summer evenings… Bartender, bring us a round with moderation…
Jean-Marie Chevallier, Les Petites Affiches
