Hello Doctor,
I am reaching out to you because I believe I have a problem in my interactions with others. I live daily with the fear of being poorly judged or criticized for my work. I am hypersensitive to the reactions of my colleagues, even susceptible. This poisons my life all the more as, to counter this fear, I tend to avoid certain situations and isolate myself. This life seems unbearable to me now because I find it increasingly difficult to make friends. Some people in my circle even think I’m snubbing them, which is not true at all. On the contrary! I want to be appreciated and open up to others. After doing some research on the internet, I believe this might be social phobia. Is that indeed the case? And how can I cure it? Thank you in advance.
Monique, Nice
Hello Monique
The term “social phobia,” even though it helps you articulate your suffering, does not seem entirely appropriate to me: the difficulties you encounter daily are only consequences, external manifestations of a problem that is likely more deeply rooted, perhaps also more diffuse. Your mal de vivre, your “hypersensitivity,” “fear of being judged” indicate a personal fragility that, if I understand correctly, is not new to you and whose origins probably trace back to the conditions of your initial relationships with your family “circle.” This is illustrated by your interactions with others. The term “cure” is unsuitable for psychoanalysis, which prefers to discuss a psychological well-being, “a lifting of the symptom,” and should be replaced by a deeper inquiry. I invite you to read one of my enclosed articles published in the monthly Côte d’Azur magazine, Femmes Infos (The Eye of the Psychologist—between Mother and Daughter: the Woman). This may provide you with some elements to help you put other words to this suffering that you cannot quite pinpoint.
—
Hello Sir,
I have some interest in psychoanalysis, but I have heard more about Jung than Freud. Could you tell me the difference between the two?
P. M. St Laurent du Var
Hello
Summarizing the difference between these two men, their concepts, and their respective paths in just a few lines seems like a daunting task. Let’s say that Jung walked a little distance with the founder of psychoanalysis but they eventually parted ways due to fundamental differences. If you’re interested, I suggest you refer to the recent biography of Jung that I mention in one of my articles (https://squiggle.be/lectures/jung-deirdre-bair.html).
—
Hello Mr. Vannier,
I have a big problem: I am in love with two people at the same time. They are two entirely different individuals. One is fiery, unpredictable, passionate, but it’s difficult to live with him daily. He lives in the moment, plans nothing, and forgets everything. The other is more down-to-earth, organized, and tidy. He is considerate, cultured, and would make a perfect father. Sometimes I prefer one, sometimes the other. I don’t know what to do because I must absolutely choose, and as quickly as possible, otherwise I believe it will cause damage sooner or later, both for them and me. In fact, I already experience this situation strangely. Sometimes very well (according to the model of the independent girl…) and sometimes very poorly (fear of soon facing two breakups not to mention the burden of guilt…). This situation has been going on for almost two years. Why can’t I make a choice?
Fleur, 32 years old, Juan-Les-Pins.
Hello Fleur
This “choice” you cannot make about others might, in fact, concern you first and foremost. Your “two loves,” like an old song goes, are likely yours, let’s say, from different periods of your story. Between the “fiery and unpredictable” lover and the “perfect father,” one can easily guess that you are basing your investments and libidinal choices on two different models over time, one already known to you, the other you “desire” to know… it’s up to you to see which part of what you were, what you are, and what you want to be, should prevail in your preference.
